Sunday, September 6, 2009

Former VP Cheney wrapped in Crime Scene Tape and Delivered to The World Court

Undisclosed, unreliable, but credible 'inside' sources tell us that today former U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney was arrested, restrained in yellow (an appropriate symbolic color) CRIME SCENE TAPE and delivered to The World Criminal Court at The Hague in the Netherlands. Cheney will be charged with Crimes of Aggression, Crimes against Humanity, War Crimes and the Crime of being ugly and impotent.

Prosecution will begin soon. Cheney's former boss has 'turned States evidence' and agreed to testify against Cheney in return for being charged with lesser included offenses and a sentence bargain of 4 years probation.

To the chagrin of Sarah Palin, since Cheney will probably be incarcerated for the rest of his life, he will not have to face an Obama Death Panel. "I was so disappointed", Palin said. "I so wanted my 'death panel' theory to be highlighted with a really high prolific figure......uhhhh, or is it profile(?)..........figure............oh well, I can see Cheney's prison from my front porch in Wasilla by gosh", Palin chirped, as she was scissoring out her new paper Barbie clothes for her new cardboard dollies.

You heard it here first, folks.......stay tuned.

Update: September 17, 2009: Today sources reveal that former VP Cheney underwent elective back surgery to correct a disk in his lower back. At the same time, doctors are said to have rerouted the tube from his external colonoscopy (poop) bag from his stomach to his mouth.

Lynn Cheney, the former VP's wife said in a written statement .... "The Dick is doing well after his surgery and a full recovery is expected, although kissing him on the mouth is not recommended at this time".

Meanwhile, Sarah Palin stood by with her self appointed 'death panel' with an eager, watchful eye, according to on the scene sources.


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