Thursday, March 31, 2011

Elizabeth Taylor (1932-2011) Mourned! The Legend Lives ON!

The Abbey-West Hollywood

From a guest contributor:

".....in case you missed it this story was on the front page of yesterday's (March 25, 2011) New York Times. I remember the day Charles De Gaulle died and President Pompidou said, 'De Gaulle is dead.....France is a widow'. In the same vein one could say now, 'Elizabeth Taylor is dead, gays are orphans."

The Abbey is a West Hollywood gay bar, a favorite hang-out of the late Elizabeth Taylor. The following photo shows a shrine there for patrons to pay their respects.
The Abbey-West Hollywood, California (March 2011)

(For additional information with some early photos of Elizabeth Taylor  please refer to our  March 23, 2011 article, "Elizabeth Taylor (1932-2011) A Tribute!")


J.

The (NEW) HUFFINGTON POST! 'Bait and Switch' Journalism?

In our research we sometimes tune in to The Huffington Post to check out their 'take' on the news of the day.

As many know, Huffpost was recently sold to AOL for a reported $300+ Million.

Gweneth Paltrow
Today we ran across a really poorly constructed unappealing headline in the 'Food' section, "PALTROW'S FAVORITE EATS." There were some enticing food pictures below Gweneth Paltrow's image and we clicked the 'quick read'.

Imagine our surprise when we were confronted with a tiny article listing Paltrow's favorite restaurants (for a few seconds) and then a rude and inconsiderate pop-up subscription form for 'Food and Wine' Magazine.

Is this 'Bait and Switch' journalism?

You tell us.  

And while we're on the subject of 'the news', let the record show ABC Television refused to cover President Obama's Libya Speech this week because it conflicted with 'Dancing With the Stars'!

(And do we really care 'what Paltrow's favorite "EATS" are in the first place? Or, her favorite restaurants? Ugg.)


J.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

FART CONTROL! It's The Law! (Photo) Is There a 'FART POLICE' in America's Future?

TRANSLATION: IT'S THE LAW!
A guest contributor has outdone himself with bringing us this sign! 

Fart Control is apparently a major issue in some population congested Asian countries and a few have legislated against farting in public. 

Michelle Bachmann
Seeing a new and potentially 'hot' and popular campaign issue in her quest for the U.S. presidency, Michelle Bachmann is introducing legislation to regulate and criminalize "farting" in America. 

As usual, The House of Representatives has lined up along partisan lines and the Democrat minority along with some Independents and Libertarians are putting up a stink about an individuals Constitutional  right to fart!

It's a matter of choice according to Ron Paul and "just another government regulation America does not need. Farting is a right!"  

Bachmann is being very careful with her legislation as she is wanting to prove her executive abilities. She has created a "FART CAUCUS" in which various farts can be identified and categorized. 

This caucus has produced some early results and identifies 3 major FART CATEGORIES: The SILENCER, The BOUFFA, and The RADIOACTIVE. 

The caucus is also working on sub-FART categories as well with 3 already identified: The SLIPPAGE, The SLIMY, and The BALLISTIC. The Ballistic would be a felony with The Slimy carrying 'wobbler' misdemeanor charges and The Slippage would be an infraction.

Caucus members are still debating about The TWEAK FART as a major or sub-category Fart.

Tea Party favorite Sharron Angle has been appointed National FART Committee Chair and so far the Bible Belt States show lopsided support for this legislation with a caveat. They are arguing for inclusion of the BUFFALO FART and the OBAMA FART as special categories.

So, whats next?

Is America ready for the FART POLICE?

(Our appreciation goes to swapmeetdave.com for his FART PAGE and great sense of humor for the cartoons shown in this article.)

J.                                        

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

REAL SIGNS in REAL PLACES! (PHOTOS) An Enjoyable Waste of Time to REVIEW!

FART CONTROL! HOW IS THIS LAW ENFORCED?

From a guest Contributor:

These are photos of REAL SIGNS in REAL PLACES. Some are dumb and some are dumbfounding. They are all, however, worth reviewing. Maybe even twice.





From the Bible Belt.






From Below the Bible Belt.











From a Vegetarian? In the Bible Belt.










More soon!





Enjoyable?

J.

Monday, March 28, 2011

What Does Abercrombie & Fitch "Push-Up Padded Bikini Top" for 7-year old Children Say About America?


....almost EVERYTHING!

First, any parent(?) who would purchase this $24.50 'item', MADE IN CHINA for less than $0.02 a copy, needs a quick and certain visit from 'Child Protective Services'.

This morning, ABC NEWS reported this  important  'summer apparel' line news right up there with the news from Libya and the possible U.S. Government shut down. 

Is the dumbing down of America almost complete? 

Do the 'corporate godfathers' need to insult us any more than they already have?

We could add another 40 or so paragraphs to our disgust, but will leave further statements to your comments.

J.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Penis Sizes Worldwide! Now There's a Map!


From a guest contributor:

Does Size Matter? It seems most men think so (and some women too) according to polls, the billion dollar industries of penis enlargement devices and medications (that have no value and no reputable medical data behind them) and the cosmetic surgery (penis implant) figures. 

Apparently size does matter. Big or bigger penises are big business, especially in North America and Europe. 

Italy-Venus and Mars Statue
Targetmap.com, a customized data maps website, has recently released  a map of where the biggest and smallest penises are located on the globe (see map below).


So. Where's the beef?


It seems Asia is where 'the littlest soldiers' are located, with South Korea coming in at 3.8". India and Thailand go head-to-head at an even 4", with China and Japan showing 4.3" credentials.

The 'big boys' are in the Congo with 7.1" cargo, and Ecuador rubs in at a close second with 6.9 inches in freight.

Here's the map:


Click to Enlarge
Targetmap also provides a 'correlation' map of penis size to IQ, with China and the African countries inversely correlated.

(Note: We don't know the sources of Targetmap's data and can't testify to it's validity.)

J.







A National TOILET PAPER TAX? To Repair the Nations Sewers! We Can't Make This Suff Up!


The nations infrastructure is in disrepair. Our roads, bridges, power delivery systems, pipes and sewer systems are antiquated and old. They are in serious need of attention.

But our economy is in recession, unemployment rates remain in double digits and we are fighting 3 costly wars among other things. Our tax revenue base is diminishing. 

What to do?

What can be done to find funding for the nations broken sewer system?


Omaha Mayor Jim Suttle
Mayor Jim Suttle of Omaha, Nebraska has the answer! 

Mayor Suttle is proposing a national 10-cents per roll tax on toilet paper.  YES! That's 10-cents a roll. 


Mayor Suttle has contacted some members of the Congress  and his proposal is being considered. 


Sheryl Crow
Also, singer Sheryl Crow has joined the bandwagon and says all people should use just 'one sheet' of toilet paper with each use of the bathroom for environmental reasons alone.



We've always liked Sheryl Crow, but somehow we think differently about her after this statement. 


So! Are we ready for a TOILET PAPER TAX? If not, contact your congress person. We can't make this stuff up!

J.
 
And while we're at it, some of our houses in America need some repair too!





 

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Sarah Palin! Voted 'Ultimate Fantasy COUGAR' By Younger Men! The CUB Report! (Suggestive Photo!)

Cougar Cub Reporters

From a guest contributor: 

A report from the "of the no consequence to anything important  file".

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah! Our Sarah Palin has snagged another distinction, another milestone on her crooked, but celebrated road to the White House. 

Sarah has been voted the 'Ultimate Fantasy Cougar', the most desirable 'Cougar' in the land in a recently released report from the dating website, 'Cougared.com'.

Under it's first ever '(Cougar) Cub Report', younger men (aged up to 35) have overwhelmingly picked Palin as the woman with whom they would most want to 'assignate'! 

Palin beat out the likes of fellow cougars Madonna, Courtney Cox, Demi Moore and even Miss Piggy as 'most desirable date' of 2011.

Social scientists say Palin's 'confidence', and her ability to gut a moose may have contributed to her victory.   

Meanwhile, Miss Piggy is in a snit and commenting about her loss. "Those boys are going to be sorry", she says, "I've met her and she's a bitch". "To keep those hormones in check, the boys who want to date Palin may want to look at my line of 'fleshlights' for their recreational pleasures. My friend Brock Landers swears by it", Miss Piggy said as she rushed out to the Boogie Nights Swingers Club in Scottsdale.

J.                                                       

Friday, March 25, 2011

WikiLeaks or Limbaugh? Check Out Their Billboards!

This Pro-WikiLeaks billboard can be found on Santa Monica Blvd. and Highland Ave. in the 90210 zip code. EpicStep.com takes credit for it.

The following billboard featuring Rush Limbaugh, complete with the planned bullet holes in it can be found on a major highway leading out of Tucson, Arizona. No one is taking credit for it after the Arizona shootings.



.......and your favorite is................?

J.

Cyclops Baby Born in India! Cyclopia Disorder-A Birth Defect! (Graphic Photos) (Update October 17, 2011)

*********************************
**********************************
(Update October 17, 2011: A cyclops albino shark was recently discovered. Scroll down to the bottom of this article for it's photo*.)

From a guest contributor:

Last week, this human baby boy 'Cyclops' was born in India. He had a single eye in the middle of his forehead and no nose which is typical to the syndrome. He survived one day.

From Wikipedia
Cyclopia, a congenital disorder, 
is a birth defect with a 1 in 16,000
 incidence in animals and determined
 in 1 in 250 human embryos. 
Most human embryos abort 
themselves early in gestation 
with few ever reaching term 
according our sources, 
Taber's Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary, from Wikipedia, and NIH.



The baby girl at left was also born in India in 2008, and lived for a number of days in a hospital before expiring.



This kitten was born in Redmond, Oregon in 2005, and lived one day. It is currently displayed at the Lost World Museum in Phoenix, New York.


_______________________


There are many reasons we present this topic and story with these gross, horrific photos. But the primary reason is to provoke readers thoughts about basic life issues. 


Are these the creatures of 'Intelligent Design'? The creation of God? Or, are they something else?
______________________________

* Discovered in August 2011, this cyclops albino shark fetus was cut from it's mother's belly after fishermen snagged it in nets a few weeks ago. Scientists say this baby shark would not have survived outside the womb and that it's rare for any "Cyclops" to reach this level in the gestation process without being aborted.


J.


Thursday, March 24, 2011

Westboro Baptist Church-Fred Phelps News! An Apostle of Hate? Is FORGIVENESS The Answer?

Rev. Fred Phelps

(For background information please refer to our January 15, 2011, article. "WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH NEWS!.......".) 

The Reverend Fred Phelps, pastor of Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas, has had his share of (dubious negative) media attention in recent years.  

Reverend Phelps has 13 children (4 of which are estranged from him) and is an octogenarian. Over the years he has created the "GOD HATES (fill in the blank) FRANCHISE" and pickets the funerals of fallen American soldiers in disrespect for those soldier and their families. 

Some have called Fred Phelps 'The Apostle of Hate', which may be an accurate description.               

At 80-something, statistically, Reverend Phelps will be going 'PAWS-UP' sometime within the next 20 or so years; and we question if God will forgive him for his deeds when he gets to those pearly gates. Then again it is not our place or position to question God.

It IS our place to question ourselves, however. Can we find it in our hearts to 'FORGIVE'  Reverend Phelps?

Those of us who strive to be 'Christlike' must recall Jesus speaking from the Cross in Luke 23:34 when he said, "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do". 

We've posed this question of 'FORGIVENESS' to our readers and here are some of their responses.

A Sister of Indulgence
The Christian Holy Order of The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence has said they will certainly attend Reverend Phelps funeral in a show of flamboyant 'forgiveness'. Spokes-sisters say 'forgivenes' allows their order to avoid negativity in their lives, thereby giving more energy to focusing on the Christian life and deeds they are about.




Church of Body Modification Zealot
The Church of Body Modification says they can and do forgive the Reverend and will be represented at any memorial service when the time occurs. They emphasize that Christ is the tap root of their religion and that acceptance and forgiveness of all God's creations are moral imperatives. They offer their 'worship' practices (at a reduced cost) to the Phelps family and the Reverend himself now.


Priscilla-The Bus
A cast member of the Broadway show, 'Priscilla, Queen of the Desert' says he will bring the iconic bus, 'Priscilla', to Topeka at anytime because it is the nature of the characters portrayed in the play to enjoy life, have fun and make the world a better place. "Forgiveness" is at the core of Christ's example and 'God's Will', the actor says. 

He also says there will probably be passenger space on the bus and offers first priority to the families of fallen soldiers to demonstrate their attitude toward the Reverend when his time comes.

And then there is the Kabuki Theater. But they are a different story and a different article. Buddhists! 

Our pal Gus, who is visually challenged, observes things from a different perspective. He is skeptical, saying, "we'll see".

J.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Elizabeth Taylor (1932-2011) A Tribute!


Elizabeth Taylor died today. She was 79 years old. 

Elizabeth Taylor was a 'MOVIE STAR' of the first magnitude! An icon and legend in her own time.

Elizabeth Taylor was one of the most beautiful women in world, some say the 'most beautiful', and her deeds enhanced her natural born beauty. Her eyes really were violet!

Elizabeth Taylor was married 8 times and was a twice honored Best Actress Academy Award winner.

There will be thousands of tributes and fine words written and said about Elizabeth Taylor by those who knew her. And we'll leave those matters to them.

Liz Taylor as Maggie-Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1957)
For us, Elizabeth Taylor simply entertained. And we appreciated her and thank her for who and what she was and leaves us.

J.

Sumo Wrestler Heaviest Man to Ever Finish a Marathon! Meet Kelly Gneiting! (Photos)


Kelly Gneiting-March 20, 2011

Last Sunday, March 20, former title holding Sumo wrestler Kelly Gneiting set a world record. He became the heaviest man to ever complete a marathon.

Gneiting, 40, 6 feet tall, and weighing in at 430 pounds, ran the 26.2 mile annual LA Marathon course in 9 hours, 48 minutes and 52 seconds! He  displaces the previous record holder who weighed a mere 275 pounds. 

Gneiting-2008
Kelly Gneiting is the father of 5 and says he is physically fit by all medical standards and wanted to prove  that some people who appear overweight are not necessarily physically unfit.

And what's next for Gneiting? He says he is going to swim the English Channel. Our bet is that he will be successful.

Way to go, Kelly! Keep it up. You're an inspiration!

J.                                                   

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Florida News! Pistol Packin' 92 year old Mama Scorned! "No Kiss? You Die!" Bullets Spray into Neighbors House!

Helen Staudinger Mug Shot

Move over, Jared Loughner! You have some competition for HEADLINES!

Today, in Florida, The Marion County Sheriff's Office reports the booking of Helen Staudinger, 92, into county jail on two felony counts. She is currently being held in the 'slammer' in lieu of a $15,000. bond.

Here's the story.

It seems Helen had developed a 'crush' on her next door neighbor, Dwight Bettner, 53, and he's been rejecting her advances. 

Today, Helen went to Dwight's house and he asked her to leave. Helen refused unless Dwight gave her a kiss. Dwight said "no", and an argument ensued.  

Helen eventually did leave, went home, loaded up her .38 semi-automatic  hand gun, returned to Dwight's home and began randomly spraying bullets at his house.

Fortunately, no one was hurt in the mayhem. But Dwight has a big cosmetic house repair bill coming.


This is an 'only in Florida' story, which we suppose is to be expected in a State that voted in Rick Scott as their Governor in the last election cycle. 


J.