Saturday, December 31, 2011

Happy New Year EVERYBODY!

Happy New Year Everybody!

We wish to thank our more than one-quarter million visitors to our blog this past year and the thousands of weekly readers now (hopefully) enjoying our parody and satire versions of what's going on in the world around us.

We will return on January 3, 2012, direct from Iowa, at which time we'll report on the lackluster caucus voters voting for lackluster presidential candidates. 

Enjoy your Holiday, be safe and please stay tuned! 

J.

Meet the Lizard Men! Then Vomit! (Graphic Photos)


Meet the Lizard Men! 







No! These are not Hollywood tinsel-town 'made-up' actors for some kind of Sci-fi movie. 

These men have actually modified their bodies into the 'freaks' shown. Most occupy work in carnival side shows and we doubt they will show up in the Occupy Wall Street movement, although we are told they support Rick Santorum and Michele Bachmann in their campaigns for the presidency.

Now you can vomit!


J.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Meet Trent Arsenault--Silicon Valley's 'Independent' "FRESH-ORGANIC" Sperm Doner! 14 Babies and Counting! FDA Says STOP!


Trent Arsenault is an environmentalist. He has taken his 'green' organic "fresh" product to new dimensions and into future generations. 


Instead of "casting his seed upon the sand", Trent casts his seed (ON DEMAND) in a plastic cup and while it's "fresh", hands it over to 'fertilization specealists' who, in turn, plant it in a waiting womb. And 'WAHLA'! An Embryo is created.


Trent Arsenault is a sperm donor, 'par excellence'. His sperm is responsible for at least 14 identified children and the count is going up as we write with at least 4 additional pregnancies reported.

Trent is a 36 year old computer 'wiz' in the Silicon Valley who fancies himself as some kind of Superman, although his photos seem to be more in the Clark Kent category. Trent also moonlights and dabbles in the porn industry according to other reports.  

For more information than anyone needs about this bizarre story, visit his website, trentdonor.org for edification.


Now the FDA says "STOP" with a cease and desist order.


Hummm......Can we imagine why?


J.


                                                                   

Man Dies After Penis Chewed Off by Rats! Horrific (Gross-Out) Story from India!


Kolkata (formerly Calcutta), India: Asian Age Newspaper is reporting Arun Sandhukha, 53, was hospitalized on December 11, 2011, at SSKM Hospital for pneumonia and later died from loss of blood caused by rats chewing off his penis.

When family arrived for a visit they found Sandhukha in a pool of blood and writhing in pain with no medical staff in attendance. He was later pronounced dead according to reports.

Hospital staff report the State operated Hospital had been infested by rats following a fire in early December. 

This story was reported on December 24, but it was not made clear when the incident happened.

J.
     

HAPPY NEW YEAR! From the Great American Disconnect!



Happy New Year!
from The Great American Disconnect!
...and many thanks to our readers for a great year past!

J.
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Thursday, December 29, 2011

"I'm Not Gay, I'm Just a Sissy" Christian 2012 Wall Calendar Sparks Online Outrage!





So now we have another meaningless "OUTRAGE" in America! 


Christian cartoonist Joe King has fielded his "I'M NOT GAY, I'm Just a Sissy" 2012 Wall Calendar to an adoring fundamentalist Christian audience and the Gay-Lesbian (and everything else in between) community is going ballistic over 'the slurs'.

Hey Gays (and everything else in between), LIGHTEN UP! IT'S A CARTOON! Get over it.

Is Rick Perry Playing Sissy Dress Up?
Besides, some of the 'months' feature what some are calling likenesses to well known corporate Christian Tea Party-Republican prissy flouncers Marcus Bachmann and Texas Governor Rick Perry.

Joe King does have a sense of humor!

J.

Rick Santorum AKA Mortimer Snerd: Tea Party Republican Presidential Contender) Kills Birds in IOWA! (UPDATE: 1/2/12)

Mortimer Snerd

(Update: 1/2/12: In the last polls prior to tomorrow's caucuses, Santorum is in a dead heat with Romney and Paul. Can he pull off an upset victory? Stay tuned. Also, please see our June 2011 article, "Meet Rick Santorum....." for further information.) 
________________________

With the IOWA Caucuses just a few days away and with the corporate media buzzing as if it meant something important, we decided to report the progress of the most lackluster candidate in the Tea Party Republican field of lackluster presidential hopefuls.


Rick Santorum
RICK SANTORUM--aka The Mortimer Snerd on the Tea Party Republican train of clowns, and who is in the caboose in the polls (less than 4%) for a presidential nomination, deserves some attention. And we'll be the one to give it to him.


On the day after Christmas our nerd, Snerd, went hunting. Leaving his Bible at home and replacing it with a Nordstrom's NRA cap, Mortimer killed some birds. Pheasants. He also went hunting for the endorsement of U.S. Representative Steve King (R-IOWA), his hunting partner, as if that meant something too.  King has not made an endorsement yet, but we don't expect it to be Snerd. Rick farts a lot, we are told. 


Mortimer
And so the IOWA countdown is closing in with just a few days to go. Look for Santorum to fold his presidential tent shortly thereafter unless he reaches into double caucus digits. Can the Iowa 'caucusers' be stupid enough to vote for Mortimer Snerd?



Mitt Romney
Then, two weeks from today Iowa will be forgotten with attention going to New Hampshire. And then on and on until Mitt Romney captures the nomination which was determined months ago.


J.

Meet The DONKERVOORT! An Automotive World Standard of Excellence!


This is The DONKERVOORT!

The Donkervoort Motor Co. was founded in 1978, and is headquartered in Lelystad, The Netherlands. Donkervoort cars are handmade vehicles and Audi engines are used in their manufacture. Their motto is "NO COMPROMISE" -- in recognition of their world renowned quality. The 'base' 2012 model sells for about 130k.


Shown here is 340hp d8 GTO. A Dutch Delight that can go 0-60mph in 3 seconds. That's 3 SECONDS!

J. 

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Mitt Romney: "I'll Put ADS on BIG BIRD"! Will Cut Spending for Public Television and The Arts! Miss Piggy Reacts!

Big Bird
Today, while Pandering to an Iowa audience for votes, Mitt Romney said that as President he would cut funding for the arts and in particular "cut spending for public television". "I'll put ads on Big Bird", he averred. 

Mitt Romney
Bad stuff, Mitt. You're treading on sacred ground here and Miss Piggy is pissed! 

In a brief interview with Miss Piggy before she left for Iowa to kick some serious political butt, she said, "Big Bird is the all time Mr. Nice Guy". I'm not.  I'm meeting with the caucus chairmen tomorrow with proof  'rumney' will replace PBS programing with Book of Mormon tutorials. And I've got a lot more. Fasten your seat belts".

Miss Piggy will be Right Back
Stay tuned. Miss Piggy will be reporting back from Iowa soon.


J.

2012! A New Year! A NEW YEAR in POLITICS! "OUT WITH THE OLD-IN WITH THE NEW"?!

Recall Governor "KOCHSUCKER" Scott Walker in 2012!

It's a NEW YEAR! And a NEW YEAR in POLITICS too!

2012 promises to be an exciting year in politics. In addition to 0ne-third of the U.S. Senate and all of the House of Representatives up for election along with a number of Governorships and other State offices up for grabs,  we political junkies are going to busy bees.

Add to this an unprecedented 150+ recall elections in 17 States and presidential primary elections in non-stop mode for half the year and the political pundits and bloggers will be buzzing.

Given over-the-top unprecedented voter unrest and repudiation  for the mess America finds itself, will 2012 be a year of "OUT WITH THE OLD, IN WITH THE NEW election year?

We think so. Stay tuned for up to date chronicles right here on THE GREAT AMERICAN DISCONNECT for updates and predictions with hopefully some humor too.


Work with us to "DUMP THE BASTARDS IN 2012"!

J.

Cheetah the Chimp--Hollywood MEGA STAR of Tarzan Movies Dies!

From Left to Right: Cheetah, Johnny Sheffield, Johnny Weismuller, Maureen O' Sullivan

Palm Harbor, Florida: Authorities at the Suncoast  Primate Sanctuary have announced that Cheetah the Chimp, star of dozens of Tarzan movies in the 1930's and 40's has died.

Cheetah on his 75th Birthday
Cheetah had been suffering from kidney disease for several years and died peacefully with friends and family at his side on Christmas Eve.

Cheetah in Retirement
Cheetah never married and was a lifelong Democrat. However, he switched partys to vote for Ronald Reagan, his brother's co-star in Bedtime for Bonzo.

(1951)
Funeral arrangements are pending. In lieu of flowers, Cheetah spokespeople ask that contributions be made to the American Kidney Foundation.

J.                                      

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Monday, December 26, 2011

Meet SIKU-The Baby Polar Bear Celebrity! (Photos)

SIKU

The World is 'in-love' again! 

Meet SIKU!

SIKU is a baby boy Polar Bear born last month in a Scandinavian wildlife preserve. 

When he was found, SIKU was weak. Then it was learned his mother could not make enough milk to sustain his life. 


Siku Likes to Play!
Accordingly, SIKU was taken to a Denmark zoo and is now comfortable in it's medical facility where he is being hand fed and receiving 24/7 care and supervision. 


SIKU's story captured the imaginations of millions of people. But when his YOU TUBE video hit the net, SIKU has become an International Sensation! A Celebrity!


SIKU Takes a Nap
At the moment SIKU is a gigantic POP STAR! Although he has surpassed Justin Beiber in popularity right now, we don't think he'll sell as many records as the 'Beib'.


Congratulations SIKU!


The world is 'in-love' with you!


J.

Newt Gingrich-Rick Perry Fail to Qualify for Virginia Primary Ballot!

Newt Gingrich

Once again, putting a spotlight on their executive incompetence and leadership failures, Newt Gingrich and Rick Perry won't be on the Virginia Republican Primary Ballot on Super Tuesday 2012! 

So what happened? 

Rick Perry
Was Newt busy at Tiffany's buying Callista more jewelry on their 7 figure open account there? Was "The Rick" playing footsie with Larry Craig in an Airport toilet stall? Or, was he talking to Jesus at his Camp Niggerhead family (Brokeback Mountain) Compound?

NO!

They were both 'administrative-sloppy' and didn't play by the rules. Mitt Romney and Ron Paul did play by the rules and they will be counted.

To qualify, a candidate needs 10,000 registered voter signatures with a small amount of registrants from each Virginia County. Although Virginia voting laws are a bit more complicated than most States, with their history of voter fraud there is ample reason why. Gingrich says he will a stage a write-in campaign. But Virginia disallows 'write-ins' in presidential primaries. So, again, Gingrich shows his campaign and himself as 'form without substance'.  


Virginia takes 13 electoral votes to the Republican convention, votes that neither Gingrich nor Perry have the possibility of getting. 

It's Always about the Money
There are other States who haven't certified candidates yet for their primary ballots with their own special qualifying rules. One might wonder if Gingrich and Perry have been equally sloppy in these States.


Accordingly, any organization or person wishing to donate to any candidate might want to know beforehand if that candidate is 'qualified' by proper authorities to even be on the ballot. It seems those who have funded Gingrich and Perry thrown their money down the proverbial rat hole.


J.

Rick Perry's Personal Campaign Security Costing Texas Taxpayers $400,000.00 a MONTH! The TEXAS TRIBUNE Reports!

_______________________________________

Rick Perry likes to preach Christian Values and Moral Standards. He pontificates an austere smaller government with less taxpayer burden and responsibility to taxpayers. He evangelizes against government waste and spending.

Perry on the Campaign Trail
But "the rick" doesn't seem to be able to translate these standards and ethics to himself.

THE TEXAS TRIBUNE is reporting from documents obtained through the Texas budget office that Rick Perry's campaign for the Tea Party-Republican nomination for the presidency is costing Texas taxpayers an additional $400,000.00 a month in security for their governor who's looking for a new job. 


These dollars are being spent on travel expenses for Perry's "security" which includes high end hotel accommodations, french cuisine and all manner of booze for the 'battle worn' security guard, according to documents obtained.


Perry defends these costs at taxpayers expense as being 'good for Texas' as he is telling the "Texas Story" on his national campaign tours.


At the same time, The Perry Campaign reports collecting over $17 million in donations. 


All other campaigns use campaign contributions for their security, with far less spent than Perry's 400k costs.


And then there's 'Tricky Rick's' $10,000.00 a month (plus expenses) chef who travels with him who is also paid by Texas taxpayers.

Grover Norquist? Matt Kibbe? Sal Russo? Are you paying attention? You better put a bridle on "your boy". He's making you look bad along with his less than 6% voter popularity according to the polls.


J.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

A Mitch McConnell Family Holiday Greeting Card? (from the "I CAN MANAGE MYSELF" File)



Photo Courtesy of the "I CAN MANAGE MYSELF" File
Is this a Mitch McConnell Family Holiday Greeting Card?

We recieved this beautiful holiday greeting card with the lovely  woman and child photo signed simply, 'the McConnell's'. So we don't know if this is Mitch's McConnell's nice looking family or not. 

However, since the woman and child bare such a striking resemblance to the U.S. Senate  Minority Leader we've made the assumption that it is. 


Mitch McConnell Photo Courtesy of The Waste Management Association of America
Then again, we could be wrong. It wasn't long ago that we mistakenly took a goat for a Senator's wife. 

Or, could it be that we've been duped by that "I can Manage Myself" person who enjoys playing such tricks on us. 

Either way we're sure Mitch, 'the McConnells', The 'I Can Manage Myself' person and certainly WE WISH ALL WHO READ OUR BLOG A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND THE BEST WISHES OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON!



J.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

 From The Great American Disconnect.

Soldiers Faces-Before, During and After Combat! (Courtesy of the GizmodoWebsite))



These are photos of the Faces of Soldiers taken Before, During and After Combat in Afghanistan!  

Before, During and After Combat Photos shown From Left to Right

These are men from 13th Infantry Company-Royal Netherlands Marine Corps

All Photos Taken in 2009-2010
Photos by Claire Felicie
Although the facial changes are subtle, note the deepened lines, especially in these men's brows and the eye expression changes.

These photos are taken from the Gizmodo website which were generously reported in the media. 

We thank Gizmoto and photographer Claire Felicie for their sensitive and educational work.

Especially now, at the beginning of a New Year, and for all years to come, let us not forget these brave soldiers and their sacrifices for the rest of us.
 

J.

Friday, December 23, 2011

2011: The Year in Review--Anthony Weiner's Penis Occupies Wall Street AND More! (Photos)


2011! A BAD YEAR for AMERICA?
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2011 was not a good year to write home about, because many of us lost our homes to foreclosure this past year.....or have no homes to write home to right now. Some of us lost our jobs while others of us saw our personal income and retirement savings decimated. Most of us lost 'net worth'. If we're lucky, we and our families have our health.


Still, with all the bad news and situations in which we find ourselves, both individually and collectively, with a sense of humor and some optimism we look to a NEW YEAR with hope and a lightness of spirit and good will. We are optimistic. And  hope you are too.
_______________________________

This past year we watched in awe as our government representatives fought and argued to GIVE more to the super rich and TAKE more from us with Bibles under their arms and calling themselves patriots. 

But even with optimism we must all be informed, vigilant and circumspect about those people and politicians in our presence with dubious causes. Next year is an election year and we hope everyone gets out to vote. And we hope you are informed. If you're not informed, STAY HOME because you will nullify a vote from an informed voter.

"THE Economy" remained the dominate factor in American lives in 2011. Called the greatest recession since the great depression , it's in fact the greatest depression in modern history and it's still with us.....there were, however, noteworthy events (some of which were silly, negative, tragic and positive) which we'll chronicle here.
_________________________


Jared Laughner
No sooner than the year began, U.S. Congresswoman Gabriele Giffords was the target of a deranged assassin. Jared Laughner seriously wounded Giffords and killed 6 other people at an outdoor political event in Tucson, Arizona last January 7. 


Moamar Qaddafi Dead
2011 brought serious uprisings of the people throughout the Middle East with  Mubarak in Egypt deposed and Qaddafi in Libya killed in the processes. Called the 'Arab Spring', these uprisings continue as we write amidst serious blood shed. 


America's War in Iraq wound down (after 9 years) as the fighting escalated in Afghanistan in it's 10th year.


bin Laden Dead
In May, Osama bin Laden was found 'hiding in the open' in a mansion in Pakistan and was rendered 'paws-up', giving America and the free world a symbolic victory of sorts as the war on terror continues. 


Japan Earthquake Aftermath
Japan experienced a serious earthquake followed by an even more serious tsunami followed by an even more serious meltdown of a nuclear energy facility. After months of cleanup,  the work continues as the results of this disaster  will be with Japan and the world for decades to come.


Anthony Weiner
This past Summer the corporate media was in a frenzy after Congressman Anthony Weiner (D-NY) 'tweeted' a photo of his penis outlined in his underwear to a constituent.  Although a 'nothing' story the nation was in a titter over the twitter and Weiner eventually resigned his seat in congress and took his 'distinguished member' with him. (As an aside, Weiner and family are to be congratulated on the recent birth of a son.)

Occupy Wall Street-NYC
Although Weiner's penis did not 'Occupy Wall Street', it may as well have because just down the street from where Weiner was ending his political career, a new phenom was growing on the American landscape and psyche. 

The "Occupy" protest movement now 'occupies' more than 1,000 cities nationwide and continues because people (THE 99%) are really pissed at the American government. 


President Obama
President Obama's approval scores plummeted to all time lows out of disappointment of his performance in office. However, after the people got a look at the Corporate Christian Tea Party-Republican Clown Train of presidential contenders flanked by corporate lobbyists and the "debates" that became an 'idiots delight" reality show, Obama is more popular than ever. He goes into the new year, an election year,  with significant political strength. 


Steve Jobs
America lost some super stars this year. Elizabeth Taylor died in March of congestive heart failure and Steve Jobs died in October of complications from pancreatic cancer. 

The corporate media lost more credibility this year as the world witnessed Rupert Murdock's empire suffering criminal charges in hacking scandals and government bribery allegations. The result has been less viewers in the electronic media and fewer news paper readers as blogs and the shadow media grew exponentially. 

America was pummeled by the graphic revelations of the Penn State Child Sexual Abuse scandal which included cover ups that made even the Washington politicians blush. 

Tim Tebow doing the TeBOW
Corporate Christianity got a boost from Tebowmania and the Denver Broncos when Baby Jesus Tim Tebow started kneeling before games and painting scripture under his eyes.  Corporate Christianity also took it in the shorts with their evangelical buffoonery  compounded by sex scandals and Rick Perry's and Michele Bachmann's hypocritical chicanery. 


The Raging Grannies of South Florida
Honorable mention must be given to The Raging Grannies of South Florida for giving us entertainment with heavy doses of humor and sane common sense logic to immediate social issues. 

Also, Sarah Palin is to be congratulated for going the way of the DODO bird and becoming nearly extinct this year. With a voice that  can knock a 'slime-bat' out of the sky at a 100 yards and a dumbness of mind and heart, she will not be missed. Even former President G.W. Bush refers to Palin as "that dumb shit", according to his memoir  written in crayola.

Courtesy Smirking Chimp
G.W. stayed out of America's corporate news for most of the year but did make international news when it was reported he couldn't travel to Europe as he would be arrested for War Crimes by  The World Court.





John Boehner Cries again!
We had doomsday prophesies that didn't happen and Speaker of the House of Representatives John Boehner gave us tears when trying to line the pockets of the rich and smiles as he was trying to screw senior citizens, the middle class, and veterans among others in this year that was.


As we say good-bye to 2011, and welcome 2012, we wonder what genetic defects will be passed on to the New Year and if it's DNA will bring America Happiness, Health and Prosperity. 


J.