Sunday, July 28, 2013

U.S. Congress Passes "Duck Penis Study" Bill! America's Tax Dollars at Work ~

In an unusual act of bi-partisan cooperation,
The U.S.Congress 
appropriated and passed into law a $384,949
Grant for the Study of Duck Penises,
and President Obama signed the Bill.
This study was not viewed favorably
by the majority of Americans as indicated
in the following poll results.
The Study, however, went forward anyway.
('They're going to study MY penis?')
The study team was lead by ecologist,
Dr. Patricia Brennan,
a "Duck Penis" expert,
according to The
National Science Foundation.

After months of study, one of Dr. Brennan's
primary findings was the discovery of
the actual length and the (up-close and personal)
'cork-screw' nature of the male muscovy duck's penis.
The study also indicated that virtually all male ducks
seemingly have an 'intrinsic natural rape habit' 
(a RAPE GENE?). Female ducks often experience
serious physical injury during sexual activity.

The study went on to indicate that female ducks, after
"rape", may suffer from a "Stockholm-Like Syndrome"
that bonds the females to their male 'rapists'.
Although no animal was harmed in the course of 
the study,
this duck apparently suffered some penis trauma
and may or may not recover, according to
outside experts. 

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